CBS Just Can't Stop Kissing Donald Trump's Ass

Trump-allied billionaire Larry Ellison has been buying up what's left of Hollywood and the corporate media (Paramount, CBS, HBO, CNN, Warner Brothers) for two reasons.

One, he wants help his nepobaby son David (who looks like a foppish trust fund brat villain from an 80s ski comedy) pretend he's a savvy media mogul who wears big boy pants and does important, relevant things.

Two, Larry wants to deliver a killing blow to whatever's left of U.S. corporate journalism, replacing the already extremely soggy and pathetic news efforts at CBS News and CNN with right wing agitprop and distracting infotainment.

If the Ellisons can make a little money selling lowest common denominator Batman and Harry Potter AI slop in the process, all the better. But if they (whoops a daisy) destroy CBS and CNN, that's just two less news organizations around asking pressing questions like: why are U.S. billionaires such unrelenting sociopaths dedicated to the demolition of democracy?

Larry and David are trying to convince Hollywood, the media, and regulators that their $108 billion acquisition of Warner Brothers will be a wonderful thing. Historically that's never been true when it comes to megadeals, the debt from which always results in massive layoffs, higher prices, and overall quality erosion.

Consumers and labor routinely suffer the worst from this sort of pointless consolidation, which is the last refuge of unremarkable men completely out of original, new ideas. These deals are just sad shell games designed to generate short-lived tax breaks, temporary stock boosts, and participation trophies for fail upward types before they move on to similar dysfunction at other companies.

Warner Brothers should know; since 2000 they've been subjected now to four major mergers, each and every one more pointless and destructive than the last. Every single time the acquiring company promises the moon and stars; and every single time the end result is a sorry mishmash of shitty content, pink slips, and sad whimpering (AT&T's acquisition resulted in more than 50,000 layoffs).

The ink is barely dry on the Ellison's acquisition of CBS, and the company is already working overtime to fire as many workers as possible. Especially black workers, and workers that don't align with the Ellison family's new, (even more) right-wing friendly ideological network mission.

Adding insult to injury, the Ellisons are now forcing CBS (and whatever reporters are left there) to host an embarrassing dinner this Wednesday to "honor" Donald Trump and "celebrate" the First Amendment. Trump has been, if you've been napping, easily the biggest threat to U.S. free speech in a century.

Media critic Oliver Darcy got a hold of the invite, and it's utterly precious:

The dinner is being hosted a day before Warner Brothers investors vote to approve their merger with Paramount. And two days before the looming White House Correspondents dinner, participants in which have been taking a beating for normalizing our authoritarian President over giggles and cocktails.

David Ellison couldn't attend a Congressional hearing last week into the deal because of an alleged death in the family (nobody seems able to actually identify who died), but had time to show up to Cinemacon a day later to make a bunch of false claims about how his merger would be great for everyone.

David also clearly has time to hijack CBS journalists in order to "celebrate" an administration that has eviscerated what was left of U.S. public media, endlessly threatened media outlets for doing even the most basic reporting, and censored comedians who make jokes about our mad, unpopular idiot king.

“At the very least, the optics are terrible," Darcy wrote. "Paramount wishes to convince the world that it is not in bed with Trump, but events like this suggest the opposite."

"Suggest" has nothing to do with it. CBS is poised to be another unapologetic right wing propaganda network like Fox News. Potentially worse, if Ellison can find a way to tether his CBS and CNN vision to TikTok, which he also just happened to buy a major stake in (are we detecting a theme yet).

There's no chance that the Trump DOJ will block the Warner Bros deal (though they've been putting on a little stage play to pretend they're doing due diligence). But there is a small chance that a coalition of state attorneys general could join forces to file an antitrust lawsuit against the unpopular deal.

From experience, I've found that people historically yawn when you bring up the importance of functional media consolidation limits. But the Ellisons appear to have touched a nerve with their latest consolidative gambit.

More than 3,700 Hollywood insiders realize the Paramount and Warner Brothers merger will be devastating for an already-reeling Hollywood, and penned a letter last week lamenting consolidation and begging state AGs for help:

We are deeply concerned by indications of support for this merger that prioritize the interests of a small group of powerful stakeholders over the broader public good. The integrity, independence, and diversity of our industry would be grievously compromised.

Competition is essential for a healthy economy and a healthy democracy. So is thoughtful regulation and enforcement. Media consolidation has already weakened one of America's most vital global industries—one that has long shaped culture and connected people around the world.

This massive wave of consolidation happened very quickly. At the beginning of 2025, David Ellison was simply the boss of the marginally relevant Skydance. In less than two years his billionaire dad has gifted him with not just one, but two major Hollywood studios. And several major journalism organizations.

If you're unaware, Ellison appointed a weird contrarian troll named Bari Weiss to run CBS shortly after the acquisition. She proceeded to censor stories critical of the President, and has spent a lot of time platforming right wing zealots, crackpots, and opportunists like Erica Kirk. The result has been the worst ratings in a quarter century for CBS and a massive exodus of reputable reporters.

Weiss was brought on by Larry Ellison to ensure CBS kisses the ass of (right wing) wealth and power. But she was also brought on board to modernize CBS, creating more interesting content that could go viral in the TikTok engagement economy.

But not only has Weiss proven to be bad at journalism (because she never did any journalism and wasn't hired to do journalism), she's abjectly terrible at creating ratings-grabbing agitprop people actually want to watch.

The result has proven to be a sad, embarrassing mess for the Tiffany network I suspect will see her replaced by someone worse by the end of the summer.

But even before Weiss and Ellison arrived, CBS was already dedicated to fecklessness. As early as 2022 the network was busy hiring more MAGA-friendly Republicans to make Trump happy, and last year the company's previous owners gave Trump a $16 million bribe to settle a baseless lawsuit.

The little journalism CBS used to do is now being replaced with something that vaguely looks like journalism, but exists primarily to prop up the interests of consolidated corporate power and violent, ignorant autocrats the world over. And it's not just happening at CBS; this is a cascading, systemic failure.

This is who and what corporate media is. An embarrassing collection of engagement chasing brunchlords and affluent failsons, putting on a bizarre and lazy simulacrum of useful journalism. It's just gotten progressively worse and worse, to the point where it now feels like the laziest satire imaginable.